The 2014 Fabine Exklusiv adult baby diaper

Davy's bum in a Fabine

The 2014 edition of the Fabine Exklusiv adult baby diaper had a bad start with me. When I pre-ordered them in February (to get the token discount they offer for pre-ordering) I was promised they would be dispatched in March. They clearly had no intention of delivering them in March as the dispatch date was constantly being pushed back – something they never told you, you had to keep checking their site for news: mine were sent at the start of June.

Telling your customers obvious lies about when you planning to dispatch their good is deeply bad form. Expecting your customers to visit your site regularly to get the latest lie about dispatch dates is staggeringly awful customer service. Given the massive premium these adult baby diapers sell for, there is no way customers should be treated to such shoddy service. Even if the adult baby diapers were delayed for three months for a legitimate reason, fawning, grovelling and generally scraping emails should have flying from the manufacturer faster than rats leaving the Liberal Democrat party.

Sadly I have lost the bill that came with these diapers so I cannot be sure of the price. I refuse to grace the manufacturer’s website with my visit to find out on a point of principle. However, when I opened my box I looked at the invoice and I remember thinking, “What on Earth was I doing paying that much for adult baby nappies?!?” I punched the numbers into Calculator² (the best calculator app for Windows Phone 8(.1) and Windows 8.1 that follows the modern design guidelines with great beauty; modern is very important), and then recall being incandescent with righteous anger that I had paid pretty much per diaper as I had for the Aww So Cute adult baby diaper (that I slagged off for being far too ordinary for their offensively high price).

But, I had  thought previous iterations of the Fabine Exklusiv were pretty good, not least in terms of their cute prints. What is the print on the 2014 Fabine Exklusiv adult baby diaper? This:

It is rubbish! There is barely any print there, and what there is is dreary and miserable! It is insulting to have paid so much for a cute adult baby diaper and be sent this half-arsed piece of rubbish. Who the hell do the manufacturers think they are to charge their customers so much money for something so bad?

Well, the Fabine Exklusivs are made by disrespectful, barefaced liars; this is clear. But let us move on and look at the inside.

Inside of a Fabine

Does not look much, but it does lack the bright blue extra absorption zone that previous iterations of the Fabine adult baby diaper had. We shall see if this affects the absorption capabilities of it.

I hope you are getting that I feel I have been mistreated, lied to and swindled. I really do feel I have been treated like the CONTENTS of a messy diaper rather than a valued customer of premium adult baby diapers.

But to make this review complete, here are some pictures of me wearing a Fabine Exklusiv adult baby diaper including one of those piss-boring crotch shots that people I want nothing to with seem to like:

You will have noticed that the adult baby nappy is wide and quite thick, I know some people like that. However, it holds significantly less than the previous Fabine Exklusiv adult baby nappies. The older ones lasted all night and well into the next day. The 2014 Fabine Exklusiv barely lasted a night.

The one I wore around Winchester only took one wetting before the inside of my plastic pants got a dosing with wee. The 2014 Fabine Exklusiv adult baby diaper is simply pants – they are a load of old rubbish.

So I was lackadaisically lied to about the arrival date of something I was vastly over-charged for that turned out to be a load of old rubbish. So if you think I’m going to recommend these you need whatever you use instead of a brain examining.

However, my biggest problem with these Fabine Exklusiv adult baby diaper was something more meta.

I do not know about you, but my first childhood was pretty rotten and I have no desire to repeat it. I want a new childhood in which I can be happy and enjoy all of life’s riches. I want to be a modern child.

These nappies have an impossibly fragile plastic outer, they are bulky and they hold little relative to their size. Fabine adult baby diapers are old diapers.

As I want to be a modern child I want thin nappies that hold a lot, like modern babies nappies. I want them to look and feel like modern babies nappies, which means a textured outer and little branding if I cannot have prints. This means I want the Tena Slip Ultima adult diaper as they are most like modern baby’s nappies, but for big people.

The Fabine adult baby diaper is not designed for modern children so I, as a modern child, am not interested in them. I have been sold a tatty, low-quality, historical relic unsuited for a child of today. I have been charged far too much money for these pieces of old rubbish. And I had to keep finding out that I would be waiting even longer than I expected to receive these dated, shame articles.

No modern child would be seen dead in these over-priced, low-quality, endlessly-delayed adult baby diapers. There is nothing positive I can say about these Fabines and so I advise you to avoid them at all costs. You may have noticed that to assist you in avoiding buying Fabine adult baby nappies I have not mentioned the name of the supplier nor have I given a link to them.

You can find out who they are easily enough, but why would you want to? These pieces of tat are just not what people who are children now will want to wear. I’m three now and I certainly do not want to wear them (so I sold all the ones I had not used in the process of preparing this review:)).