Little clothes in public

Here's me going to meet a winemaker in the local wine shop

If you are nervous about going out in little clothes or adult baby clothes in public there is a great lyric in a Fats Waller song you need to remember:

You run your mouth and I’ll run my business, brother.

If the meaning is unclear to you it is simply: I can do whatever I like and you have absolutely no business even commenting on it. There’s another great Fat’s Waller lyric that’s even more direct

T’aint nobodies’ business what I do.

And that is precisely true. In polite society people simply do not say “You’re dressed oddly!” to random people in the street no matter how eccentrically they are dressed. They just don’t, there is no special rule for adult baby clothes in public.

Now, in socially desolate places like where I used to live in London, horrible, horrible Woolwich, some semi-educated idiot may very occasionally bawl something unintelligible from a distance if their simian brains notice someone dressed other than the moron clone style they favour. But that’s only because in places as horrible as Woolwich basic levels of social behaviour have not been taught or forgotten out of sheer pig-headedness. But Woolwich, and it’s vile ilk, are not polite society; social rules have broken down in such places thanks to deprivation. You don’t want to go to such places and if you’re there you want to get out fast.

Now I live in Winchester and every single time I go out I wear the kind of clothes a little boy would wear. For example, I wear overalls/shortalls with motifs on the bib or leg, nursery printed t-shirts or onesies, pastel coloured trousers (I’ve got orange, yellow, baby blue and pink with ducks embroidered on), brightly coloured or striped tops, loud or striped shorts, or t-shirts or jumpers with ‘Child’ written in large letters across the front. That is the sort of thing I wear day to day in Winchester. In two years and one month living here no one has even given me a second look let alone making the enormous faux pas of making a comment about my clothes. That’s how normal people behave.

Here's me going to meet a winemaker in the local wine shop

Here’s me going to meet a winemaker in the local wine shop

Normal people, like you or I, don’t comment on others wearing adult baby clothes in public partly for the reasons I’ve mentioned about behaviour in polite society, but largely because they don’t care. Most people are too wrapped up in thinking their own thoughts, usually about what other people are thinking about them, to give a piece of fresh faeces about what other people are wearing. It simply does not register with them. Don’t worry about wearing little clothes or adult baby clothes in public because the vast majority of people out there won’t even notice your existence in any meaningful sense.

Just to be complete, I’m not saying people acting in a professional capacity should be able to wear what the hell they want (although reasons for that are diminishing). As an example, my doctor wears a suit, or an approximation of one usually, but I go to see him in little clothes hugging my teddy bear and that’s fine.

So if you, for some outlandish reason, are still worried about wearing your favourite clothes in public, try to recall this line from later in the same Fats Waller song I mentioned first:

You take care of your orifice and I’ll handle my transactions.

So get out there wearing your cutest clothes, the only one who cares is you!