Big Tots onesie review

Davy in cars onesie

Onesies are like fifty pound notes, you can never get enough of them. They are always getting sticky, splattered in mud or dinner, or the cat decides to sleep on the pile of washed ones (I don’t know about you but that happened to the only fifty pound note I ever owned). So I have a suggestion of somewhere you can score onesies, of both cute and inconspicuous varieties: The Big Tots store on ebay.

Perhaps my favourite feature of Big Tots (run by the utterly lovely Ms Lorainex) is that, although they are based in the US, her pricing for postage is exceedingly reasonable and the products have always got to me in the blink of an eye (assuming it takes you about 5-10 days to blink). Of course, being and eBay store the prices for the onesies can vary enormously; I feel rather chuffed that the onesies I’ve got have been most affordable. This is certainly true for the ‘buy it now’ items she puts up for sale – they are a steal.

I suppose you’d like to see what some look like, here are my cars and schooldays onesies of the ‘cute’ designation:

They look good, don’t they? Indeed they are, and I would have no hesitation in recommending these to all but one section of the superannuated child community. That is that they can be a bit short in the body length for tall people (I’m 6’3″). I’ve been vacant enough to never ask Ms Lorainex the body length of the items I’ve got from her so two of my onesies are a distinct squeeze with one not able to do up the poppers at all.

If you are a normal sized child of age then you are laughing. They are made to a very high standard; it doesn’t look like any of the seams in them will be liable to fraying. The poppers are of very good quality and clearly inserted with ferocious enthusiasm so they’ll become detached. Ms Lorainex has access to some truly lovely materials and keeps a good turn over of stock so it’s advised to keep checking the Big Tots shop or sign up for her newsletter.

In addition to the cute onesies she also does a wear to work range. Here’s me working in mine:

Because these are made by sewing the popper strap onto a normal t-shirt they are longer and, even as a massive toddler, I have no problems with mine fitting; even after washing. The prices Ms Lorainex charges for these are very reasonable indeed. Well, they are not as nice as having cute prints, are they? I suppose they would work if you find working in a tucked in t-shirt the kind of thing your employers look kindly upon. Personally speaking, if I ever had a job (Hahahahahahaha! Me have a job! What a laugh…(sob)…) where a t-shirt was required uniform I would instantly disembowel myself with spears look for a job higher up the chain in the wine trade

To summarise, The Big Tots store onesies are marvellous if you are not proportioned like Goliath but the wear to work ones will fit just fine if you are. Even though I will have to use one or two of my purchases as t-shirts rather than onesies I still recommend the store; the quality of work, speedy and affordable postage and the personal, professional service you get are all top notch. My only suggestion would be if you are as tall as me you email Ms Lorainex before bidding to check on a torso length.

Oh yes, The Big Tots store also sell other youthful clothes, but I’ve only bought onesies so that’s what I’m reviewing.

Finally, and totally unrelatedly, I should apologise for the low frequency of Toddlerism posts at the moment. Firstly, back pain and subsequently the strong pain killers to cope with that totally evaporated my creative spark. Now it seems that one or both of those factors has exacerbated my paranoid schizophrenia and I’m having a tremendously hard time with it at the moment. I’m fabulously unhappy and even writing this short review have been a serious challenge that will leave me drained for days and days. If you want to know something more about the experience of paranoid schizophrenia you may wish to read this article I wrote about it on my professional site; don’t worry, it’s quite short. I shall try to keep the flow of articles trickling but I am bonkers beyond belief and woefully unhappy, neither of which help. Thank you for your understanding during this hellishly difficult time.

  • Latest news in from Ms Lorainex from Big Tots: she will soon be opening an Etsy store that will sell custom, made-to-measure clothing. Hooray! The Etsy store will also be called Big Tots and Ms L is aiming to to have it up and running in 4-6 weeks. I certainly look forward to getting some of her ace clothes that will fit huge toddlers like myself.

    I shall report when the shop opens (and post pictures of my first purchase!).

  • Democritus

    Hi Davy,

    Nice review.

    I have bought a few items from this seller and I have been really pleased with the quality and reasonable prices (postage as well). The issue of length hasn’t been a problem with me (6′ 2″) but then maybe you’re just skinnier than me!

    Ms X does put the length of garments in the description and I tend to go for the largest sizes so I can “grow into” them 🙂

    The last item was some Jon Jons in navy blue fine needle cord with a Mario
    patch. They were awesome. Before that I got a striped stretchy onsie
    (with a sail boat on) with dark red needle cord shorts. Now you may
    think I like needle cord but that isn’t the case, I don’t dislike it
    either, but the two sets I bought were just so cute I couldn’t resist.

    I’m sorry to hear that you are not feeling well, I have read about your
    problems with paranoid schizophrenia before and my heart went out to
    you, it sounds hellish. But I hope you will take comfort in one
    important fact, you are an inspiration to others! you bring joy and
    light to me whenever I read your blog and I’m sure you do so for others.

    I saw an announcement from your friend Jane that there was a
    meet on 11th August, will you and your daddy be there? I have never been
    to one before and wouldn’t think I would do very well as it’s quite a
    public thing (lots of others) but isn’t too far from where I live.
    Umming and arring!

    What is going on with word press? it won’t allow my registered email. I will use my other login but I hate to mix things.

    (edit) scoolkid

    • Hello scoolkid,

      Going in reverse order:

      I was persuaded to update my comment system to use Disqus. It should allow WordPress logins (mine just worked), but I shall investigate further.

      There is a meeting on 17 August in Farnborough – the preschool event I’ve raved about endlessly. The details are here. I cannot recommend the experience highly enough; if you want to get into the ‘little zone’ this is the place to do it. The new location is very private so the only people there will be other preschoolers and carers, your identity will be safe (but do say hello if you decide to come along so I can bonk you on the had with Toast and run off giggling;)

      I’m not aware of anything on 11 August, but I shall head to ABJane’s blog to check if I’ve missed anything due to vacancy/insanity/idleness/etc….

      Oh, there is an event at the top of her page on the 11th but it’s in Birmingham and that is a bit out of range for us, especially as I am screamingly bonkers at the moment and have to choose my activities carefully. Jane says she trusts the organiser so there is no reason to believe it’ll be rubbish. So if you cannot make it to Farnborough then give this a try. People are normally really careful about giving out addresses of venues so I wouldn’t have thought it would be teeming with those boring ordinary people.

      Thank you for your kind comments about my illness and how I deal with it. Things have been extremely difficult for the last few weeks. If I am worryingly honest I go between crying/screaming and heavily sedated by the medication I’m on and that’s pretty much all my life is at the moment. I am eagerly anticipating preschool on the 17th so I can have a bit of uncomplicated fun and (please let it be so!!) feel happy for an afternoon. It is very kind of you to say you got pleasure from this post; it was so, so hard to write so I’m glad the effort was worth it.

      Finally, Ms X (Kim to her friends). Yeah, I cannot really add to any of the stuff we’ve said. I did have some shorts of hers but I couldn’t find then (too many baby clothes) so they didn’t make the review.

      I suspect if I were an inch or two shorter, or a tad less corpulent (despite my incredible success at weight loss recently), I wouldn’t have a problem with the length. But as has been said it’s easy to check the length of the items so it shouldn’t be a problem unless you are a total loon like me and are unable to manage measure yourself accurately. That being said, I did manage to measure myself for this ace onesie I got the other day.

      Well, I hope it was the 17th event that you are in range for as it’d be nice to meet you. I have to go and take some tranquilisers as writing this has been rather a strain. I really hope the increased dose of antipsychotics kicks in soon as it’s so much work just existing (and not doing horrible things to myself) at the moment. I’m exhausted all the time from the attrition of the voices and hallucinations. As I said in the article on my adult site (no not ‘adult’ like that, filthy children…) It’s freaking hard work being insane. I’ve been awake for an hour and I’m utterly drained…. An well, I don’t need to bother anyone with this, as long as you know the posts will not be flowing like Grand Cru Burgundy at one of my dinner parties…. Hell’s bells I haven’t managed a dinner party in ages…. I’m so unhappy….

      But anyway, I hope to see you on the 17th; if not, when Allah wills.

      Anon,
      Davy.