Big Tots onesie review

Davy in cars onesie

Onesies are like fifty pound notes, you can never get enough of them. They are always getting sticky, splattered in mud or dinner, or the cat decides to sleep on the pile of washed ones (I don’t know about you but that happened to the only fifty pound note I ever owned). So I have a suggestion of somewhere you can score onesies, of both cute and inconspicuous varieties: The Big Tots store on ebay.

Perhaps my favourite feature of Big Tots (run by the utterly lovely Ms Lorainex) is that, although they are based in the US, her pricing for postage is exceedingly reasonable and the products have always got to me in the blink of an eye (assuming it takes you about 5-10 days to blink). Of course, being and eBay store the prices for the onesies can vary enormously; I feel rather chuffed that the onesies I’ve got have been most affordable. This is certainly true for the ‘buy it now’ items she puts up for sale – they are a steal.

I suppose you’d like to see what some look like, here are my cars and schooldays onesies of the ‘cute’ designation:

They look good, don’t they? Indeed they are, and I would have no hesitation in recommending these to all but one section of the superannuated child community. That is that they can be a bit short in the body length for tall people (I’m 6’3″). I’ve been vacant enough to never ask Ms Lorainex the body length of the items I’ve got from her so two of my onesies are a distinct squeeze with one not able to do up the poppers at all.

If you are a normal sized child of age then you are laughing. They are made to a very high standard; it doesn’t look like any of the seams in them will be liable to fraying. The poppers are of very good quality and clearly inserted with ferocious enthusiasm so they’ll become detached. Ms Lorainex has access to some truly lovely materials and keeps a good turn over of stock so it’s advised to keep checking the Big Tots shop or sign up for her newsletter.

In addition to the cute onesies she also does a wear to work range. Here’s me working in mine:

Because these are made by sewing the popper strap onto a normal t-shirt they are longer and, even as a massive toddler, I have no problems with mine fitting; even after washing. The prices Ms Lorainex charges for these are very reasonable indeed. Well, they are not as nice as having cute prints, are they? I suppose they would work if you find working in a tucked in t-shirt the kind of thing your employers look kindly upon. Personally speaking, if I ever had a job (Hahahahahahaha! Me have a job! What a laugh…(sob)…) where a t-shirt was required uniform I would instantly disembowel myself with spears look for a job higher up the chain in the wine trade

To summarise, The Big Tots store onesies are marvellous if you are not proportioned like Goliath but the wear to work ones will fit just fine if you are. Even though I will have to use one or two of my purchases as t-shirts rather than onesies I still recommend the store; the quality of work, speedy and affordable postage and the personal, professional service you get are all top notch. My only suggestion would be if you are as tall as me you email Ms Lorainex before bidding to check on a torso length.

Oh yes, The Big Tots store also sell other youthful clothes, but I’ve only bought onesies so that’s what I’m reviewing.

Finally, and totally unrelatedly, I should apologise for the low frequency of Toddlerism posts at the moment. Firstly, back pain and subsequently the strong pain killers to cope with that totally evaporated my creative spark. Now it seems that one or both of those factors has exacerbated my paranoid schizophrenia and I’m having a tremendously hard time with it at the moment. I’m fabulously unhappy and even writing this short review have been a serious challenge that will leave me drained for days and days. If you want to know something more about the experience of paranoid schizophrenia you may wish to read this article I wrote about it on my professional site; don’t worry, it’s quite short. I shall try to keep the flow of articles trickling but I am bonkers beyond belief and woefully unhappy, neither of which help. Thank you for your understanding during this hellishly difficult time.