Aww So Cute sell onesies (or bodysuits, if you prefer) in addition to their adult baby diapers (reviewed here). In order to sweeten the bitter pill of extortionate postage costs, by getting an extra small thing, I handed over the readies and eagerly awaited a new onesie. The price is a little high but not unreasonable and they have the ‘lap shoulder’ design that very young babies’ clothes have sometimes.
Before buying I measured myself carefully. Then I got worried that I might be incompetent so I got daddy to measure me – oddly I was not reassured about my competence when the measurements were identical. One of the sizes seemed to be a perfect fit for me looking at their sizing chart, so I plumped for that. Here’s what it looks like on me:
As you can see, it makes me look like an inmate of an extremely secure psychiatric ward – it’s awful!
Not only is the sizing really off but that lap shoulder thing really doesn’t work for superannuated little boys and girls; relatively speaking our heads are too small and our shoulders too wide. The hole this creates at the top is consequently so large that you could take the Aww So Cute onesie off by pulling it down over your body and off your legs. It’s ridiculous!
There are a minimal number of snaps that would not really hold a saggy diaper zain place, assuming your powers of prognostication allowed you to buy an Aww So Cute onesie that fitted anyway. Moreover, given the enormous size of the head hole, if you did have a heavy nappy on, and the feeble snaps managed to hold, the weight of the diaper would just pull the onesie down your body. It’s almost as if the makers when out of their way to make this the least functional item of adult baby clothing they could possibly design.
Because I am always absolutely honest I’ll admit that I do rather like the baby blue trimming on the onesie (you can get pink trimming as well). But with the Aww So Cute onesie this really is an exercise in poo polishing. The Aww So Cute onesie is unattractive and not fit for purpose, or crap as we used to say in the Oxford Zoology Department. Do not, under any circumstances buy one of these onesies; unless, perhaps, you are buying one for someone you loathe and want to make them look like an utter joke (see pictures above). Aww So Cute onesies are simply rubbish.
I would be throwing mine away but it’s just possible there is a really enormous little boy out there who has secret dreams of looking a bit foolish, so here’s the deal. If, over the next couple of weeks, someone offers to post me a jar of pickled onions (or shallots) that I deem to be of a quality elevated enough to suit my exacting standards, I will, once onions (or shallots) have been received post you the onesie. I do not expect anyone to take me up on this offer, but if you really want a rubbish onesie contact me with details of your onions sharpish before I throw the blasted thing out.