My serious fans now know I’m a toddler

Davy the toddler

For those new to this site you may not know that my occupation is writing about wine and food. I’m quite good at it and, considering it is not a full-time profession, I’m quite popular and well-thought of. My professional website has had 90,000 unique visitors in the past year – not bad. I’ve just published a piece on my terribly grown-up site that I have decided I will be three years old on my upcoming birthday.

Why tell my respectful readers that I’m a toddler? Basically, to be true to myself and be happier. I’ve had a bit of a rough time recently and one of my prime ways of coping with that is being little. I like being little and I’m not ashamed that I am.

If my readers are going to follow my output with any dilligence it’ll soon become clear they are being advised on wine and food matters by a little boy. I just cannot hide it; that’s who I am. Therefore I may as well spill the beans at once, today, rather than leave people guessing about who they are reading.

And just to make it clear who I am I gave a link to my birthday present wish list. This speaks volumes about my complex wants and needs. It’s got wine on it, smart shirts, silk ties, but it also has training pants, onesies, teddy bears and toys.

I appreciate all of those things, because I’m a toddler who does adult stuff, and it would be great if my fine wine-chugging, well-heeled readers got me some stuff in recognition of the efforts I make to engross and amuse them.