I was recently interviewed for a television program about adult babies. As usual, it was Davy holding forth on a variety of subjects, only this time I was at a nursery and sitting in a playpen. As such, I found it a total hoot. However, there is one thing I refused to speak about: my mental illness.
I have a psychotic illness related to traumas in my childhood and I’ve been rather unwell with it over the last thirteen years. I’m normally pretty open about it, I’m happy to mention it in my professional life (see this post on my grown up website about me giving a talk in parliament, this one about me appearing on the radio, or this one about me taking anti-psychotics). I didn’t want to talk about it on this program for one main reason.
When I first met the people who are making the program I was pretty open about my life and how much I am at ease with being a little boy. As you might have deduced from this site, being a little boy is a very big part of my life. They seemed to think I was the most open and relaxed person they had met about being an adult baby, and I didn’t have the worries and anxieties that most people have about it. I think that’s pretty much true.
Moreover, I have had very good experiences telling people I’m a little boy, or at least being around family and friends in childish clothes and, really rather often, cuddling my teddy bear around them. I’ve never had a bad reaction from anyone when I’ve said I like to wear nappies or if I’ve whipped out my teddy for a squeeze after a long wine tasting session.
Finally, I may not be the highest paid person in the world, but I’m quite successful at what I do. I have lots of readers for my food and drink writings and I’m pretty popular around the tasting circuit. I’m articulate and friendly too; I give a good impression of myself.
Consequently, I like to think I make a good model for any nervous, repressed adult babies out there who might watch the program. I’m relaxed and opened about it, I haven’t had bad reactions about telling people, and I’m a competent, successful and charming person in adult life. The television people thought I was also a good example of someone who integrates being a little boy into their life well.
If I presented this good example and then said, “Oh and I’m psychotic, by the way”, the positive image is lost somewhat. There isn’t time in a television program to explain the ins and outs of my illness, or that I am largely all right now, so I thought it best to avoid the complexity of the issue entirely. I wanted to be as open and honest as possible about my life and personal development, but it doesn’t help me or anyone else to hear the irrelevant colourful bits that would just be a bit of sensationalism for a television program.
And that is why I didn’t talk about being bonkers in my television interview. I hope you all understand my reasons.