I’m not Hypnotic4play.com’s target market

Since the owner of Hypnotic4play.com just commented in one of my other threads about hypnosis, I thought I’d give their ‘Sleep tight baby’ adult baby hypnosis file a try. I’m man blissfully happy with another man as my partner and daddy, and my rude bits don’t need any additional playing with, so I must have been one of the last people in the creator’s mind when this file was conceived. I threw money away on it.

I’m sure the market for heterosexual rhythm hypnosis files is massive and highly profitable; this was very squarely aimed at that market. The file was pretty much the right length for a quick one off the wrist and the introduction told you that’s what you were about to be doing, if you needed help in realising that, so this is all about talking you up to the vinegar strokes.

Even if you are into the genre of heterosexual grumble adult baby hypnosis tracks, and you are perfectly entitled to be, this one was a particular load of old wank. The introduction into and exit from what little attempt at relaxing you was made appeared to be stock sections voiced by someone different to the main part of the recording. There was a surprise when the voice suddenly changed.

I don’t have any magical, mystical or manic views about hypnosis, I know that a large part of the trance experience is a guided relaxation process that is simply designed to calm you down. They are much like the relaxation tapes you’ll be given if ever you find yourself seeing a clinical psychologist. That doesn’t mean the guided relaxation process cannot be (if you can suspend disbelief about the silliness of it all) quite fun and generally enjoyable. There was hardly a pretence here about getting you relax or in a ‘trance’; it was all talk and imagery designed to excite at a base level rather than cajole you to comfort. If this is what the general ‘male milk-race market’ seeks from hypnosis files I’ll have to be a lot more careful about where I spend my pennies in future; it did nothing for me.

The main voice of the track was also utterly woeful. The lady sounded disinterested and extremely patronising; is that what turns people on these days? Odd. The supposed suggestions she gave were not like any hypnotic experience I’ve had, but then I’ve never really wanted to tug my tadger to a ten minute tape of tawdry talking when I’ve gone in search of something hypnotic. Again, if you want a simple, slightly sordid slap of the salami this may suit, and good luck to you, but I feel it’s poor value and quality even for that. I certainly feel it’s misrepresenting itself to pretend to be a hypnotic experience.

Hypnotic4play.com’s track simply struck me as a rubbishy load of old toss, and I don’t give a fuck about that kind of thing. Keep your distance whilst hurling dog poo and shouting, “Shame!”.