Not so long ago I wasn’t me. Rather than being a normal person with weaknesses and needs I thought I had to be a strong, unfailing support for everyone else who never needed help and only helped others. I’d been like that most of my life. Then, whilst standing almost still on a flat surface whilst approximately sober I managed to slip over and fracture my heal.
It was agony! I’m not the most physically competent person in the world so getting about on crutches was a battle and the short walk to the toilet involved much screaming. However, I still had to be strong and not inconvenience anyone even though I could hardly move around.
Luckily, my partner insisted he would open doors for me, move things out of my way when I went to the toilet, and carry my crutches when I went down the stairs on my bum. For about ten days this was absolutely awful.
Then I suddenly realised that him helping me was actually making me feel better and improving my life – it was certainly removing the screaming agony I felt when struggling to open door. Perhaps being helped was good? Perhaps I didn’t always need to be a pillar of perfection. Over the next few days I thought about this, and let him open the bedroom door for me without too many complaints.
Then, yes, I could be helped! I didn’t need to be perfect and manage everything on my own. The incredible burden that was lifted from my life was a palpable relief and I felt much more normal and much more myself. It’s great to be helped!
Of course, some thing we need help with are more difficult than opening the toilet door. As well as a witty, charismatic and distinctly adult writer I am also a little boy. I have been all my life; my earliest memory is trying to pin a cloth nappy on myself at the age of three. However, until quite recently I’ve always been, as my partner put it, the world’s most ‘adult’ adult baby. I needed help to be more at ease with that side of myself which is a very big part of who I am.
One day I was looking through baby-pants.com website, one of my favourite suppliers of big kid’s goods, and saw that they were selling hypnosis tracks to help big babies be more babyish. I was intrigued, so did a bit of digging around and found that the person who had made the tracks for baby-pants.com had her own website.
Arkadia, the owner of the site, is a qualified hypnotist but one who is willing to help with more esoteric requests than the normal hypnotherapist. She has a free downloads section on her site which had a baby boy regression mp3 and I thought I’d give it a whirl.
When I’d listened to the track I felt charged with a child-like happiness and desire to have fun. It was great; I felt so much more at ease with being a little boy than was normal for me. I was so pleased with the effect I sent Arkadia a little gift from her online gift list and also dropped her an email composed with my normal flowery prose.
Whether it was my gift or my boyish charms that caught her interest, out of what must be a flood of correspondence she receives, I don’t know but she replied and we exchanged a couple of emails. I feel particularly flattered that she offered to make me a custom hypnosis track on a theme of my choice. Since I can now accept help, and I found her baby boy regression track so compelling, it was an offer I could hardly refuse.
I sucked my thumb up until age 17, and then again from 19 onwards, but I always felt guilty about it and would only do it in the darkest of places. Since I sucked my thumb when I was a little boy the first time, and did so with nonchalant ease, perhaps she could help me do the same now I’m a little boy the second time and I wish to be one with nonchalant ease.
Naturally Arkadia‘s services are in a lot of demand, so there is going to be a slight delay before she can make me the hypnosis track. This gives me a chance to think up what suggestions I’d like her to make in it. Basically, I think they should revolve around it being natural, simple and relaxing for me to suck my thumb at any point because I’m a little boy. Little boys suck their thumbs so doing so is very ‘me’.
When I’ve got the track and listened to it a few times I shall report on its effects, but until then I encourage you to check out Arkadia’s site and also the tracks on baby-pants.com. The effect of Arkadia’s free baby boy (she has a baby girl one too) regression track makes me think the effort is worthwhile and I heartily recommend her products.
EDIT: Arkadia is now back online and accepting custom orders at her new site here.